Sunday, August 31, 2008
blaaaam
FUCK THE
ATTITUDESFUCK THE
NAME-CALLINGFUCK THE
"ifuckingknowyouinsideout" SHITFUCK THE
LIES FUCK THE
PUSHING AROUNDFUCK THE
PUTTING DOWNFUCK THE
"sorryandthen5minslateryoufuckingsuckyouliar" SHITFUCK THE
WASTED TEXTS
FUCK THE
"youhurtmesofuckingbadsonni'mgonnamakeyoupay" SHIT
FUCK THE
PRETENSEFUCK THE
"youmakemesofuckingemo" SHITFUCK THE
"youtreatmelikeshit" SHIT
FUCK THE
"i'mtheonlyonewhounderstands" SHITFUCK
IT
FUCK
EVERYTHINGFUCK
YOUFUCK YOU FOR
FUCKING MESSING THINGS UP
FUCK YOU FOR YOUR
BLOODY ATTITUDES THAT FUCKING PISS ME OFFFUCK YOU FOR YOUR
STUPID LIESFUCK YOU FOR YOUR
DESPERATIONFUCK YOU FOR YOUR
IMMATURITY
FUCK YOU FOR YOUR
FALSE PROMISESFUCK YOU FOR
WHAT THE HELL YOU THINKFUCK YOU FOR
THE TIMES I'VE FELT HURT OVER YOUFUCK YOU FOR
WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WHEN I COULD'VE SPENT IT ON PEOPLE WHO ARE MY TRUE FRIENDSFUCK YOU FOR
TELLING ME YOU'D BE THERE FOR MEFUCK YOU FOR YOUR
BLOODY SELFISHNESS
FUCK YOU FOR
STANDING ON THE SIDELINESFUCK YOU FOR
NOT BOTHERING TO HELPFUCK YOU FOR
MAKING ME THE LIAR
FUCK YOU FOR
TRYING TO BRING ME DOWNFUCK YOU FOR
TELLING ME WHAT A FAILURE I AMFUCK YOU FOR
CHANGINGFUCK YOU FOR YOUR
GUILT TRIPSFUCK YOU FOR
PRETENDING TO BE WHAT YOU'RE NOTFUCK YOU FOR
MAKING ME FEEL WORSE WHEN I FUCKING CRY
FUCK YOU FOR
THINKING THAT YOU'RE ALL MATURE AND SHITFUCK YOU FOR
RUBBING THINGS IN MY FUCKING FACEFUCK YOU FOR
NOT STANDING UP FOR ME TOO
FUCK YOU FOR YOUR
WEIRD STARES NOWADAYS
FUCK YOU FO
PRETENDING TO CARE
2:53 PM
Saturday, August 30, 2008
emos
yesterday
i couldnt stop screaming "EMOS"
why?
its my new swear word!
*trip* EMOS!
*splatter* EMOS!
*twirls and gets tooted* EMOS!
*almost crashed into some random dude* EMOS!
*almost walked into a door* EMOS!
*lost wallet* EMOS!
EMOS EMOS EMOS EMOS
i want another frickin TATTOO
i will GET another tattoo
after my Os
only because i dont have time OR money
that gives me more time to design it AND save up
hung with my darlings ytd;
namely Ish, Ren, Cassie, JoeKCuds, Christa, Faid n Muhd D
:)
it was HELL fun
watched Wall-E <3
got the surprise of my life when i received a text from Joe (non-KCuds one)
won't tell you what it is :X
went to BayBeats later at Espla
went with Ish, Muhd D, JoeKCuds, Mara n her fren Ally
watched the Shine & Shine & Shine & Shine
the frontwoman was cute
but..
THE GUITARIST WAS CUTER
XD
they're from Taiwan
apptly Marzipan was there too
but i missed her :(
was looking forward to like a total MOSH PIT
but :(
the whole of Singapore's fucking emo
no jumping!
WHERE'D ALL THE RETARD CHILDS GO?!
ANYONE I CAN GO TOTALLY RETARDED WITH ANYMORE?!
gosh
im fucking tired
slept in half the day
n accidentally Gayified KCuds' notes :(
i wan2 celebrate HALLOWEEN
fuck all those emochildren who celebrate Halloween without me :(
nvm we'll just have to celebrate it on another occasion
i feel like getting totally black overalls
n more BAND TEES
i wan2 change my fucking name
i wan2 change my fucking hair
fuck my moods
AARRGGHH
i dont make sense today
i WILL make sense when something devastating and traumatising
then i guess i'll bother making sense
*sings and screams*
I CAN SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE DAY TURNING BRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
i will massacre my hair and turn it purple somehow
or perhaps make it blacker
or perhaps some retarded colour like pink or blue or green
and change my whole fucking look
fuck labels
yawn
tired
someone's got SAND in their VAGINA
6:40 PM
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
ryannnnnnnnnnn ryann
I feel stupid
yeah pretty stupid
watching South Park now
its so stupid and funny
Dad's telling me to study
okay..
*shrugs*
SUPER BEST FRIENDS!! XD
MASSIVE LOL
gonna get some studies done later
GONNA MEET CASSIE N ISH N REN N AMI N GEE!!
okay random hyper moment
I AM FUCKING BORED
kill me
actually, don't.
HAHA ERIC CARTMAN JUST BOUGHT SCOTT'S PUBES FOR $10!!
AND SCOTT JUST TRICKED HIM!!
MASSIVE LOL!
okay random
PUBES!!
random shit
oh damn now he's tricking Scott back :)
I'M A LITTLE PIGGY HERE'S MY SNOUT OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK XD
5:07 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
bleargh
Revenge.what do you gain?
satisfaction?
you mean it's WORTH IT?
to ease the hunger for attention?
well, my love, you can have it all
you can have what you want from me
exploit me to the fullest
because
i really don't give a damnbecause if you won't even tell me in my face
or even bother talkin to me
or telling me about how much of a bitch i seem to you,
i guess i'll play oblivious and still treat you the way i do
you're still my friend, till further notice
and i'm sorry if my intentions appear to be harsh and spiteful
but my intentions are genuine,
even though the things that happen
break my
heart... *stares blankly*
oh well
Saturday night was the sex
running and rolling around on the beach.
PLUS it was LOW TIDE so there was mud ALL AROUND
got all dirty and stuff it was awesome :)
Joe, DK, Hafiz and Mira were there
JOE GOT
MUD IN HIS SKINNIES :)
so after we all washed up,
we ended up playing
Truth or Dare spin the bottle styleDK was drunk fuckless but he ended up doing the
catwalk and a
poledance :)
Joe ended up
dancing to Low
Hafiz ended up saying he was a
Pussyand i ended up
licking the table and doing a
poledance too.. *stares blankly*
haha
Joe ended up sleeping over
which was awesome because we thrashed the
Wii abit
played some Mario and Sonic Olympic Games thing
and Joe was like WAY awesome at the high jump thing!
anyway woke up with a motorboat voice
well, lost my voice in the morning
so cool! XD
Well, will close with a quote by
COLIN SANTA MARIA,
KING OF SARCASM:
"Quitters never win, Winners never quit. But if you don't quit and don't win, you're an IDIOT"classic!!
9:37 PM
Saturday, August 23, 2008
ryannnnnn
I've never been more ready to say this about life at this very moment
but i'm going to say it..
LIFE IS GREATLife is not what you make of it
but by how you get on with the twists and tangles of complications in life
there are two ways to deal with them;
untie them OR leave it alone
Life is like an animal;
kicking, screaming and constantly squirming
Life can be a bitch
and Life can be your best friend
i can't say i don't agree with the fact that Life Sucks..
it DOES
it DOES because of all the complications we have put among ourselves and our future generations
it SUCKS because of all the high expectations
it SUCKS because of all our different personalities, ideologies, thinking..
but then again it's GREAT
it IS because you're not entirely alone at any point of time
it IS because of what the world has to offer [that we have so mercilessly destroyed over the centuries]
it's GREAT because of the various passions we have [e.g. Art]
it's GREAT because of the blessings in disguises that hide and jump you along the way
and fuck yes, Life is a BITCH
have you ever stopped to watch the sea?and stopped to think how beautiful this world can be,where 2 very contradictory things can come togetherand create a scene so beautiful, it fills your heart with awe,and your eyes with tearshave you ever stopped and looked around?to see the gorgeous people that surround youthe people who can make you feel so alonebut yet so loved because of their limitless smiles and encouraging wordshave you ever stopped and napped to the warmth of the sun?beating down; warming your soft, supple skinsomething so simple but yet beyond satisfactionhave you every stopped to listen to the rhythm of the day and the whispers of the night?to fall in love with the sound of crashing wavesand the patter of feet on sunbaked cement that twist an turn through the veins of the land we have lost time for ourselves and the world
and we have lost the ability to appreciate
today i'll expose my deepest darkest secret..
and that is;
I WANT TO LOVE.. not BGR, my friend..but love in a way that i cannot describe
a kind of love that is shared between friends
12:17 AM
Monday, August 18, 2008
dsflkasjd
life is but a dream.
so true.
today i saw a friend cry her eyes out.
it hurt.
ALOT.
it hurt me.
not just her
but it hurt me too.
to think that we're now in the same situation.
i'm immensely confused and ticked off and appalled
i mean
what is a relationship?
what is it, really?
do people have to be this way after they break up?
is there no chance to justify yourself to make things clear so we can move on?
is there even a necessity to move on?
is it okay to blurt spiteful words to someone who's hurt?
how is it good to laugh at someone who's crushed inside?
to me, it's no better than laughing at a crippled dog who got ran over by a car
HOW IS THAT FUNNY?!
is it right to ignore a cry for help?
is it right to be oblivious for the need to justify what has been done?
is it politically correct to even scream your lungs out in frustration when nothing goes your way?
i'm telling you, my friend, that i stand on the neutral side
or you could say im hurting my butt sitting in the fence
whichever way it is, it still hurts
i love you both but.. sighs.. this is for the both of you i guess :S
its not much
and its corny
but its what i can see from where i stand:
aligned along the walls of agonywhere love seems unrealCAN YOU HEAR HER HEART BREAKING? she said,fully aware of the emptiness in herselfshe sheds a tear and sobs uncontrollablyher present state reflecting only a fraction of how she really feelsis there anyone who can stop her pain?or is there anyone who can stop the laughter?his head swirled to decidewhich was best for the both of themhis heart breaking and aching with every thump against his ribcageIS THIS LOVE? he asked,longing for a definite answer to put his mind at easecryin silently into the nightas tears soak into his pillowreminding him of the unpredictable future up aheadryann fucking sucks
6:50 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
what.the.hell.
what is love, exactly?
does it not involve forgiveness?
how can tolerance and trust be upheld if communication is put on hold?
how exactly do we move on in life if grudges aren't removed?
how is it that we are so blind to the fact that there are always 2 wrongs to every mistake
and that we expect to be pampered in every relationship we get into?
IS THERE NO COMPROMISE?!
IS THAT WHAT YOU EVEN CALL LOVE?!
if there is no mutual understanding in anything that we do
then what the hell is the point of bitching all over the place?
is there even a necessity to bitch about the latter when they don't even know what's wrong?
is there a necessity to get your friends to help you "get back" at the one you supposedly love?
is there a necessity to sit and send texts, hoping that things will change?
WHAT IS LOVE?
WHAT IS LOVE TO YOU?!
is it that feeling you get when you see his/her face, just for that measly moment?
is it whispering to each other "i love you" over the phone?
WHAT IS IT?!
WHAT IS IT?!
HAS PPL LOST THE REAL MEANING OF LOVE?!
EVEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!
has LUST been mistaken for LOVE?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?
[huns, i just wish i could say it to your faces without breaking your hearts]
THIS ISN'T THE WAY TO SETTLE THINGS
breaking up isn't always right
writing letters isn't always right
you apologise from the heart and not from what you think
WHERE'S THE SINCERITY?!
WHAT IS WRONG?!
GAH!
8:00 PM