Ryann'dra Auspaztic.
17 & old :X
gloomybear = sexxxx
i lost my way, i lost my way
while skipping down the yellow brick road
i lost my way [puff the magic dragon :O]
electro yourself, baybeh
anti-violence; say no to plastic bags!!!
they don't deserve you, anyways
♥♥♥

i'm in a vicious cycle i can't get out of
it's demoralising to the extent where i don't even want to know what's going on

RYANN'S CYCLE: [what i've been living by, forcibly]
1) move into new place [uuuuuugggggggghhhhhhh.....]
2) HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY [life = bliss at this point of time]
3) expectations pile up [ryann: BARK! WOOF!]
4) tensions are raised to a whole new high [where's that mfing chainsaw?!]
5) there is so much tension, it feels like the cold war, WWI, WWII and 9/11 are happening all at once, under a roof [except without the artillery and bombs]
6) pissed gauge goes up, patience gauge goes down [beepbeepbeepbeep!]
7) PISSED-O-METER EXPLODES [this is the part where i do something stupid like OD or runaway or something else equally stupid]
8) repeats "somethingstupid101" over and over again until something "tragic" [obviously bullshit] happens
9) "let's try work things out. it's for the best" speech is recited once again [not by me, of course] and obviously it DOESN'T WORK [as usual, it only works as a pacifier for the speaker, who is not me]
10) thisisthepartwhereyougobacktostageoneandrepeatthewholeprocess [that's the whole point of a cycle]

is it so hard to find a sense of ease and comfort in your own house?
i dread the times i spend at home
because they're filled with nothing but tension and silence
it's hard to explain this feeling
but it totally frickin sucks
okay maybe i COULD sum it up in 3 words
but that would be very vague;
FUCK THIS HOUSE

[D, really i can't help but post pissed posts and i really don't know what's wrong.. i know i'm usually able to tahan this shit.. and i'm sorry i have to complain about my life again [esp when no1 wants to hear it] but i guess it serves as a release for me.. oh yeah! when we going Jalan Raya again? :)]

friends, false friends, acquaintances
they make life bearable
i sound like an emotionalwreck poseur
whatever
my vocabulary sucks tonight
all i can thank God for now;
is them and the fact that i'm better off than others who are having it worse off than me