Ryann'dra Auspaztic.
17 & old :X
gloomybear = sexxxx
i lost my way, i lost my way
while skipping down the yellow brick road
i lost my way [puff the magic dragon :O]
electro yourself, baybeh
anti-violence; say no to plastic bags!!!
they don't deserve you, anyways
♥♥♥

i'm not gonna write a big introduction
but i'll cut to the chase;
Homosexuals are people just like you and me and they deserve EVERY right to marry
In fact, they're more capable of loving than those homophobes who support Prop 8
Why, oh why, do people alienate the "homos" just because they love someone, and it "doesn't seem right"?
It's pretty stupid isn't it?
How would you feel if your love for someone else was condemned?
How would you feel if you couldn't even hold hands and walk down the street with the one you love, without getting scowls in you direction?
How would you feel if you couldn't even BE with the one you love, because of a law a bunch of homophobes passed in parliament?
Just because homosexuals love people who are the same gender as them, it doesn't mean they're any different from straight people
How much would it hurt to try and hide the person you really are, just because society disapproves of your "condition"?
And what's the big deal with categorizing homosexuality to the likes of prostitution, incest or even paedophilic acts?
Is it so wrong to love?
Stop using religion as an excuse to discriminate homosexuals
Because really.. how many of us are actually able to follow what our "religion" teaches?
Just because people CANNOT accept the fact that there're people who do not conform to the majority of the modern society we live in,
DOES NOT MEAN THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LOVE
People are meant to be unique and self-acceptance is just one of the greatest qualities that homosexuals have
and for that, they have my admiration and respect.
Banning gay marriage is just like banning marriage on a whole,
Only that this bill discriminates homosexuals
Whatever happened to equality?
SAY NO TO PROP8
they're gay and they're here to stay so DEAL WITH IT YOU HOMOPHOBES




i'm sorry i'm sorry
what i said was..
FUCK YOU
was that clear enough for you?

today was fun :3
got my hairdye!
met Mira, Hashir n Chrissy with Aisyie after Physics P2
it was TORTURE
and itd be a MIRACLE if i get a fucking C6 for my goddamned Physics
anyway
walked around
got my leave-in hair moisturiser :)
got EMaths P2 tomorrow
so yeah
doom
FUCK Os, once again
AND FUCK YOU, INVENTOR OF FUCKING PHYSICS
[70th post & counting]



















LIFE IS BORING THE SHIT OUT OF ME



life will forever be a bore
finished reading In The Miso Soup by Ryu Murakami
yes another thriller
except this time, it's in Japan
psychological thrillers are just thrilling
they dont scare the shit out of you
they just thrill you
shrugs
HISTORY ON TUESDAY
ultimate moodkiller
SLIPKNOT IS THE ULTIMATE SEX
and i guess i WILL make a list of things to do after Os
Cass, Adith n me alr have a random list
[POWERPUFFFFFFFF!! tuuuuhnuutuhtuhtuhtuhtuuuh]
oh yes there WILL be videos
they'll probably be completed in Jan cos Adith's gonna be away
so i guess we'll come up with a new list
i need a flexy job
CTBGNation really really really needs more customers
i know the blog hasn't been updated but it will soon, i hope
goddammit
we need business
please support
and approach us
screw the blog
just go to me or Cassie's blog and tag us or something
ANYTHING!
just help :3



I FUCKING LOVE SLIPKNOT
SINGALONG TIME!



Go!

Stapled shut, inside an outside world and I'm
Sealed in tight, bizarre but right at home
Claustrophobic, closing in and I'm
Catastrophic, not again
I'm smeared across the page, and doused in gasoline
I wear you like a stain, yet I'm the one who's obscene
Catch me up on all your sordid little insurrections,
I've got no time to lose, and I'm just caught up in all the cattle

Fray the strings
Throw the shapes
Hold your breath
Listen!

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!

I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
I wear you like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to win, I'm just caught up all the battles

Locked in clutch
Pushed in place
Hold your breath
Listen!

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!

My end
It justifies my means
All I ever do is delay
My every attempt to evade
The end of the road and my end
It justifies my means
All I ever do is delay
My every attempt to evade
THE END OF THE ROAD!

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, OH!



i know i shouldnt be panicking
BUT AMATHS WAS FRICKIN AWESOME, K?
I COULD DO EVERYTHING
but now im panicking
because the smarties say it's hard
WHICH MEANS I SUCK
D:



Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn is so frickin awesome
IT'S BETTER THAN YOUR ROMANCE NOVELS, CASSIE
shrugs
anyway yeah
it was fucking awesome
free day today
gonna meet KCudsJoe later to see KIERAAAAAAA
gotta read up my formulas and shit n practise my physics D:
n history
i dont make sense rite now
i need a nap
good night.



okay so if i've never gotten a D7 for English
and i got a B3 for English in Prelims,
DOES IT MEAN THAT THERE'S HOPE I WILL DO WELL??!!
because apparently the teachers mark us down
because
THEY DON'T WANT TO GIVE US FALSE HOPE
*rolls eyes*
shrugs
anyway had A. Maths today
I COULD DO EVERY QUESTION
and i just found out i lost like.. quite a few marks D:
but it's okay
I DID EVERYTHING!
hopefully they give method marks or something :(
oh bell curveeeee
PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE LET PEOPLE SUCK REALLY BAD AT A. MATHS!!
GOD I WASTED SO MUCH PAPER, OKAY?!
i lost like 8 marks :(
so the max marks i can get is like 90%?
I HOPE I DO!
WEEEE
life is balls
FUCK YOU AMATHS



English was a braindrainer
wrote on Greed
yes yes my character kills her brother because she wants the family fortune
only wrote the killing scene
but bits of dialogue here and there
but i hope it shows the topic
it begins with her in the room
and going crazy
killing her brother with a letter opener [yeslameiknow]
and screaming "It's all MINE I WANT IT YOU KNOW IT'S MINE"
and her going to jail
and getting killed in an electric chair
yes surprise surprise her name is Kiera Ryann
HAHAHA
oh dear i hope it's not irrelevant!
anyway, comprehension topic was on cats
but other than that i hope i did okay
then again i wouldn't be surprised if i get a C6 or a D7 for English :(
okay chill, Ry
Amaths tomorrow
need to read up a bit more and practise here and there
and i guess i'll be prepared
GOD, IF YOU HEAR ME, PLEASE LET THE EXAMINER NOT BE CRANKY ON THE DAY HE MARKS MY SCRIPT!
i used so much effort for summary and sitch writing!
and compre! and compo too!
ohhhhhh
:(
cries



"No, Vimmie wouldn't go to an asylum. He'd be the one sending us there.."
'Josh! Ryann! Asylum! Now!'
-Joshie



Okay by Macy Gray :)
listen to it
it's good, i guess
well to me it is
today's Chem paper was good :)
EVERYTHING I STUDIED FOR CAME OUT!!
I EVEN MANAGED TO SNEAK A NAP!! :3
English tomorrow
and A.Maths the next
gotta practise A.Maths :O
wish me luck, aite?
and good luck to you guys who're taking Os too :)
wish i could go for halloween :(



okay okay
O-levels are up TOMORROW
so yeah
can't bring phone along
AND
may be like
AWAY
from the compie & shit so yeah :)
okay here are my O-level dates
so don't expect me to reply your texts or answer your calls
i'll get back to you as soon as i'm free
20th Oct, 21st Oct, 22nd Oct, 24th Oct, 28th Oct, 29th Oct, 30th Oct, 31st Oct, 3rd Nov, 10th Nov, 12th Nov, 13th Nov
yes my O-levels dates
HA!
job hunting on 14th Nov, maybe
SMBND, Os!!!



today is boring
Chem tomorrow
i miss everyone
i miss Cassie
i miss Christa
i miss Joe
i miss Ami
i miss Aisyie
i miss Ish
i miss Ren
i miss Fika
i miss Haikel
i miss Emmie
i miss Zaza
i miss Col
i miss DK
i miss Fauzie
i miss Izzy
i miss Mira
i miss Tazzy
i miss the people at church
i miss the people in Perth
i miss 4EA
i miss the acquaintances i had in SSS
and i promise you i am not lying



i cannot tell you how incredibly stupid and impulsive i am
seriously
really fucking stupid
hahahahahaha
yes i cause trouble for Izzy n his mum
i get used by a kiddo so he can get through to my awesome friend
i scare myself shitless over someone
*slaps hand onto face*
Ryann is officially STUPID
and now i'm going to have to deal with someone i don't want to see
at all
yeah i'm still pissed
fuck you guys for reading this
and fuck me and my stupidity even more
i feel so fucking stupid, i think i'll just shut up for like
EVER
enough said
RYANN IS STUPID



A . People who have been tagged must write their answers in their blogs.
B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they are tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
C. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
1. i
2. dont
3. really
4. give
5. a
6. fuck
7. ,
8. actually

1 . What have you been doing recently ?- nothing
2 . Do you ever turn your cellphone off?- nothing
3 . What happened at 10am today?- playing guitar hero on wii
4 . When did you last cry ?- almost today
5 . Believe in fate / destiny ?- idfc
6 . What do you want in your life now ?- good O-level grades
7 . Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?- put up my goddamned hood
8 . What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed ?- comforter
9 . What bottom are you wearing now ?- shorts
10 . What’s the nicest thing in your inbox says?- idk go figure
11 . Do you tend to make a relationship complicated ?- dont ask me
12 . Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone ?- yeah. PE shirt from Adith
13 . What was the last movie you caught ?- IDFK
14 . What are you proud of ?- nth
15 . What does the oldest text message in your inbox says ?- name card
16 . What was the last song you sang out loud ?- everything i'm not by the veronicas
17 . Do you have any nicknames ?- Ry, Ryann, Ryanndra
18 . What does your last receive text msg says ?- i'll text u tomorrow afternoon
19 . What time did you go to bed last night ?- cant rmb go away
20 . Are you currently happy ?- no
21 . Who gives you best advice ?- Joe or Cass
22 . Do you eat whipped cream straight from can ?- love it
23 . Who did you talk on the phone last night ?- Joshie n Vimmie
24 . Is anything bugging you right now ?- yeah
25 . What / Who was the last person to make you laugh ?- Colin Santa Maria
26 . Do you wear toe socks ?- yeah
27 . Who was the last person you missed a call from ?- Christine
28 . Have you ever had your heart broken ?- yeah now duh
29 . What annoys you most in a person ?- depends on my mood
30 . Do you have a crush on someone ?- im crushed?
31 . Have you ever done cocaine ?- i can only dream
32 . What is the colour of your room ?- whitish
33 . Would you kill some one you hate for a billion dollars ?- and get away with it? hmmmmm.. nope..
34 . Do you believe in the saying ‘ talk is cheap ‘ ?- yes.
35 . Who was the last person to lie in your bed ?- me
36 . Who was the last person to hug you?- hafiz's mummy :3
37 . Did anyone see the last person you kissed?- yeah. DUH.
38 . Do you have a life?- what kind of question is THAT?
39 . Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn’t?- almost
40 . What is the reason behind your profile song?- what song?
41 . Who was the last person you saw in your dream?- idk
42 . Last time you smiled?- just now after reading Colin's dream
43 . Have you changed this year?- yeah. alot.
44 . What are you listening right now?- nothing?
45 . Are you talking to someone when you doing this?- no
46 . Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?- both
47 . Is there a quote you live by?- alot. which one? "hypocrisy; man's greatest vice" is my fave.
48 . Do you want someone you cannot have?- YES
49 . Have you ever played an instrument?- yeah
50 . What was the worst idea you’ve had in this week?- try get hafiz back
51 . What were you doing last night at 11pm?- surprisingly, physics
52 . Are you happy with your love life right now?- what love life?
53 . What song best describe your love life?- walk away by funeral for a friend
54 . Does the person know that you like him/her?- he's fully fucking aware and yeah its complicated
55 . Who always make you laugh?- ANYONE? :D
56 . Do you speak languages other than english?- a little of malay and chinese..
57 . Favourite website(s)?- none
58 . What’s your middle name?- nil
59 . What are you doing tomorrow?- IDFC
60 . What do you think you are like?- lol
61 . Who will you choose to die with?- my hamtaro
62 . Where have you been today?- out
63 . What game do you play often?- none
64 . Who are you missing right now?- people.
65 . If you had to chose between a friend and a lover, who will you chose?- depends on who
66 . What are you doing right now?- talking to Christa
67 . Which primary school are you from?- PLMGPS, YangZheng
68 . Name 3 colours that you like?- black black black
69 . What emotion do you like to show?- idk rite now
70 . What is your life to you?- idk?
71 . If you have something troubling you, what will you do?- depends. usually it's sweep it under the carpet
72 . Who did you last chat with on msn today?- D. Ho
73 . Who do you admire most?- idk la
74 . Which month were you born in?- april
75 . How are you feeling right now?- VERY messed up
76 . What is the time now?- 0021
77 . What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?- Col? oh he's awesome :). he brightens my day with his silly jokes and he's such a darl
78 . What colour did you use to dye hair?- black but it turned navy blue
79 . Why are you doing this test?- im bored
80 . What do you do when you’re moody?- stone, nothing, be silent, try to hide it
81 . At which age you wish to get married?- 25..?
82 . Who is more important to you?- idfk
83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?- oh.. spend the rest of my 23hrs doing wth i want
84 . Who is the person you trust the most?- Cass, Joe, Ami, Christa
85 . Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?- huh? in a literal context or a comparative context?
86 . If you have a dream come true, what would it be?- idk?
87 . What is your goal for this year?- get through Os
88 . Do you believe in eternity love?- huh?
89 . What feeling do you love most?- being tickled
90 . Do you really think its Global Warming now?- im feeling cold.
91 . What feeling do you hate the most?- idk
92 . Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?- very much so
93 . Do you believe in God?- no. yes. idk. go figure.
94 . Who cares for you most?- i really dont know. ive yet to find out but for now i'll say Ami, Cass, Christa n Joe
95 . What do you think is the most important thing in your life?- my life?
96 . What will you bring when you fight?- nothing. i'll let them whack me up.
97 . What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?- nothing. i'm too lazy to bother
98 . What would you do if no one cared for you any longer?- as usual, LIVE WITH IT. like how im doing so now
99 . What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?- oh.. nothing.. find someone to fuck and get over it, probably.
100 . HOW DO U FEEL NOW?- SHITTY










it sucks being confused
or more like, pissed
i spend the whole day killing my eyes
and yeah it sucks
i feel drained
and strained
i just want to get out and DO SOMETHING
it sucks because everytime i have nothing to do
i end up being miserable over the same things again
and just when i think i've found a solution,
i'm back at square one
i used to be so far away from what i'm feeling now
but now i'm not
it sucks
it's like i'm riding a merry-go-round with a radius of 2cm
ARGH!











classic quotes

pictures tell a thousand words
but pictures OF words stop beating around the bush
stop messing with me already
I'M SICK OF ALL YOUR LIES
[don't be perasan, it may just NOT be you who i'm referring to]
and to that CRACKHEAD who gave out my number,
STOP BEING A MOTHERFUCKING DRAG QUEEN, OKAY?
JUST TELL ME WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.

what exactly did i do wrong?



10 things i hate:
1) Happy Families [they make me jealous because i'll never have one like that]
2) Death Stares [doesn't everyone?]
3) Disturbed Sleep [cranky]
4) False Friendship [i'm sorry, i have nothing to give]
5) Happy Couples [it HURTS so bad, okay?]
6) Lies [because with them come false hopes]
7) Paper [they kill trees and they're all around my room. and all i can do is scribble and doodle; his name]
8) Playas [because they just don't get it that they are not getting in my pants and my heart belongs elsewhere]
9) Pork [yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck]
10) Myself [because i'm just so pathetic and until today, i'm not over him]

theguywithmyheartandmykissinhispalm; imissyouwhy'dyougo?sometimesijustgetsoangrywithyouanditjustfeelssostupid. maybeitistrue. i'msofuckingpatheticthatihope. fuckmyhopesandfuckmydreams. ifeeldead. ican'teat. ican'tspeak. ryannisgoinggoinggoinggone. idon'tmakemuchsensenow



gotta find something to get addicted to
LOOKING FORWARD TO THE 13TH
surprise surprise
then again what the hell
to 300 over people, i probably look like the biggest 2-faced liar to ever hit home
*hides face*
okay maybe i'll reconsider going
ha
then it'll probably be a happier Jalan Raya for lotsa people
if i didn't go :S



MULTIGRAIN MILK TASTES LIKE SHIT
oh CTBGNation has its first few pix up! :D
CTBG CLICK HERE



i miss you
[but this time, you'll never guess who it is]
[hahabitchesimissME]



LALALA

you know what's funny?
when someone uses profound language
and doesn't make sense in the end
hahahaha
joke of the day
hinthinthint



okay, kaka no angry blog post this time, aite?
okay got good news and bad news
lets start with good news since it always brightens up ppls days
okay bleh stop beating round the bush, ry
well, CTBGNation now has 2 or 3 items up for sale!
lalalalala!
okay there're red and blue pinafore dresses up and a micromini done up
bad news is, my phone is gone so no pictures of it
but we'll model it soon and blah so we can get the photos up :S
now to find models
ANYONE INTERESTED?!



it sucks when you can't get what you really want/love because of something you can't change

there're days i wish i didn't exist
and there're days i wish i was alone
with him
just him
and be like how we were before
but i can't

[overdramatics; the result of heartbreak and denial and a sudden realisation]



i miss perth so much
i know it sounds pathetic
but i really miss it
it's been 3yrs now
and i still miss perth
i mean i'm not even from perth
gosh
but i guess i gotta be thankful for what i have now
be thankful that i'm in singapore
with wonderful kickass friends
that make each day brighter than before
so i guess i won't need to miss perth now
because once i'm away
there'll be hell lotta people to miss
oh and friday was the first time i sang the national anthem
one line;
"sama sama menuju bahagia"
i think that's not even a line
but that would be the first time i've sung the national anthem
in secondary school
thanks shaz, once again
now i have kickass side piercings
MUAHA
thanks to cass for contacting her ex again
now i'm all sore
but i guess it's the price i pay
:)
oh bits of my fat came out with the needle
IT WAS SO COOL!
[yes i'm a fatass and i really don't care]



"OMG THERE'S BODY FAT IN THERE!"

classic, i tell you, and you'll never guess what ;)








i am bored
*stares blankly*
all hail the rain and it's inpredictability
my heart is palpitating for some unknown reason
i'm excited bout bedtime
because that's when i get to sleep
looking forward to tomorrow too
i want my piercings so bad
so so so bad
so so bad
so bad
so so bad
so so so bad
so so bad
so bad
i want my piercings
*heart breaks*
ugh..
i don't make sense today
so that means i def won't make sense tomorrow



i should be studying
i made my friendster profile gay
i should be studying
selamat hari raya
i should be studying
maaf zahir dan batin
i should be studying
i really should be studying
i will study after i get dressed
[don't think dirty, aite?]